Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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