at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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