OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
