For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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