You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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