Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
