I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
