3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
