In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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