I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
