I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he was CRYING into my vagina
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
