i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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