scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
