Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
