i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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