Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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