i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
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Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
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Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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