I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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