I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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