Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
