And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
