After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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