Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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