We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
