I faked an abortion last night.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
