Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize