Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
