Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize