hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize