How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Quick, to the slutcave!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
