According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
