Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
