I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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