HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
