Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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