I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
