Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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