why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he thought i was a dude.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
