you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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