gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
everyone is single if you try hard enough
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
