i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
