who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
