margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
