Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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