Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
