fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.