I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
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I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
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Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week