Cold hands, warm shart.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.