Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
