I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
