well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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