I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
wow bdsm is so cute
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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