I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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