I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
