My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
