Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I should be sponsored by Trojan
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I need a beard to bite.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
