I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
honey bunches of taint.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
