Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
