I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
